Everywhere and Nowhere

Actually, I wanted to call the blog "Something like a Routine". Very original, I had used the same title for my second London blog. So it became "Everywhere and Nowhere". It's a bit about everything: settling in, friends, stress, university and homesickness.

I moved away just under two months ago. Or just moved? Moving is probably always moving away when you change cities. Or the country. Anyway, it hasn't even been eight weeks. But there's so much going on right now that it feels like years since I was last home.

Uni is quite a lot right now. There are no semesters here, but trimesters, which means I'll be writing my first exams in three weeks. Hence, the first block of the Master's programme is already over, while my friends in Germany have just started the semester. Scary. It feels like everything will be over before it's really begun.

But it's not that far yet! The next few weeks will be just as busy as the last few weeks. The absolute highlight is still boxing, which really saves my day every Monday. As soon as Greta and I leave the Polak Building (our go-to learning spot), the mood slowly goes up. If 20 minutes before we were still hanging in front of our laptops, not understanding the world for all the theories and abstract representations, we only have to concentrate on persevering.

Even though we have a lot of fun during the warm-up and are mostly busy laughing (I don't think we know exactly why), we lose our grin after the first set consisting of jabs, jumping jacks and burpees at the latest. But despite the masses of sweat and burning muscles, we always leave the hall with a very euphoric sports high.

I also still go to badminton, at least if I don't fall asleep before training. Whoever thought to schedule badminton for 21:00-23:00 had a very bad idea. Especially because I have to be at university at 9:00 the next day. But hey, no pain, no gain. Or something like that.

Wednesday is now a traditional yoga day, followed by dinner and a few drinks in the campus pub.

At the moment, I very rarely manage to get home before dark. University in the morning, studying and reading texts, sports in the evening, and usually doing something with friends. You could almost call it a routine.

Since last week, I also have a new volunteer position on the Social Committee for the Erasmus Studi Network. I'm really excited to see what we're going to get up to. The team is super nice; everyone is motivated and keen to shape the year with events.

Otherwise, there is nothing new. A few weeks ago there was an Open Stage Night on campus, which was an absolute highlight. Greta taught me Rumba and Disco Fox without further ado, and 20 minutes later we were twirling across the floor. It was one of those evenings you always look back on with a smile. Fleur christened her flat, which was also a very cool night. We possibly had a few (or even a few more) drinks at Silvi's beforehand, which kept the energy and entertainment levels high.

With Greta I discovered a very nice pizza place, Emma and I established our mutual love for Logan from Gilmore Girls and together with Silvi a few new cafés were added to the Rotterdam list. Next week we all want to go dancing together and the first meetings with ESN are coming up. In mid-October Greta and I will go to Amsterdam to dance through the night at ADE. I should probably also manage to prepare for my exams. It's easy to forget.

And yet sometimes I have a strange feeling. A new kind of homesickness. It feels a bit like tired longing. I miss Berlin. I miss my friends, who are now spread across several countries (which doesn't exactly make reunions easy). I miss sitting on the couch with my family and debating the Netflix programme. Sometimes I just want to go back to my old flat share, sit in the kitchen with Bjarne and Henrike and listen to music. Sometimes I need Emily next to me while horse videos are playing on YouTube in the background. I miss the Schmittz, the evenings with Teo and Gunnar, the Bergmannkiez, where I'm usually out with Melina.

I think I long for everything. And constantly moving, often not being in one place for more than a year, can make you tired.

Don't get me wrong, I love Rotterdam. I've already taken the people here to my heart so much, I wouldn't want to miss them. By now I know most of the streets, bars and cafés, the routes to get from A to B. I'm very familiar with the city. I have my daily routine of preparing meals, studying, doing sports and spending time with friends. It's really good. But still I feel homesick. Still, sometimes you need people by your side who have been with you for many years.

I think these thoughts usually come up after a few weeks of settling in. When everything is a bit familiar and it reminds you of home. Home. At some point I wrote that home is rarely a place alone, but a place with the people who are connected to it. I am still convinced of that. That's why my homesickness is kind of all over the place. Longing for Berlin, Lüneburg, for London. To all the places where my favourite people are. To Münster, where Michi and Henrike live (although I've never been there myself). To the USA, where Zoya and Joni are right now. Longing for everywhere. Maybe even longing for Rotterdam and the people here, because I already know how hard it will be to leave all that behind again in a year's time.

Okay, now I've spread enough sentimentality. Fact is, I still love it here, even if my mind is sometimes everywhere and nowhere. It's a good thing that there's so much going on that most worries and homesickness are forgotten very quickly. And 90% of the time, the longing for the past is replaced with the happiness of the present. :)